Guest books and alternatives

Guest books are incredible way to hold onto wedding memories, well wishes, and remember who was there for your big day.  Years ago, my husband and I attended his grandfather's 85th birthday party.  A guest book that went back decades was passed a round so that everyone could leave a note; I flipped through and read notes from dinner parties, celebrations, and times that were far sadder. That guest book, and it's predecessor, were an history of an entire marriage.

Your guest book or another item can hold a life time of memories.  There are beautiful options from the very traditional leather bound book to jigsaw puzzles, autographed plates, and wishing trees.  I've been searching etsy for my favorite guest books and alternatives.  Thanks to some incredibly talented crafters, I have both links and pictures for you.





This 100 piece jigsaw puzzle is a fun and imaginative alternative to guest book. It's also a great way to show that all the people in your life come together to make it complete.  You can find BellaPuzzlesToo at this link: https://www.etsy.com/shop/BellaPuzzlesToo?ref=seller_info.









A beach or outdoor wedding might be better memorialized with Wishing Stones.  Guests can write their messages on stone that can be incorporated in your decor, an altar space, or just left in a neat box or bowl.  Visit thepaperynook at  https://www.etsy.com/shop/thepaperynook?ref=seller_info.






Is your crowd into games and activities?  Wishes for the Happy couple is cute way to pass those between times at the reception and collect some fun wishes from your guests. For those who live in small spaces, this is a great option, because these can be tucked away in a drawer or cabinet or included in a scrapbook paired with photos of your guests. Visit Erin's Artwork at https://www.etsy.com/shop/ErinsArtwork?ref=seller_info.











A handmade or custom book might be the perfect way to keep track of all of those beautiful wishes from your guests.  Pick something symbolic or simply pretty and put it on the book shelf when you're done.  This book from Mystic Moon Media is handbound and features acorns on the spine, which would be perfect for a fall wedding. https://www.etsy.com/shop/mysticmoonmedia?ref=seller_info





There are many other options for guest books and alternatives.  I've seen signed engagement pictures, Christmas ornaments, photo booth pictures with messages on the back.  There are also thousands of different style blank books that would do the trick.  As with any other part of your celebration, be creative, and find something that suits your relationship.  Happy planning!

Just a reminder, all images are owned my their creators.  

"Greening" your celebration

For many Pagans I know, caring for the earth is not only a life style choice, it is part of their religious practice.  Being green is an everyday choice, so their celebrations should reflect that, too.

Here's a few simple and somewhat straightforward ideas for having a greener wedding, handfasting, or commitment celebration.  The list is by no means exhaustive, but they can serve as a starting point for planning.

Local

• Less travel= less CO2 emissions
• Local flowers not only require less travelling, they are less likely to spread nuisance pests and non-native seeds into new areas.

Reusable

• Living plants can not only make your celebration lush and beautiful, they can double as gifts and favors, and they live on long after the day is over. You can also try reselling potted trees and shrubs locally to another couple celebrating or plant them at your home.
• Cloth napkins and real dishes can be rented from party suppliers, and they are used hundreds of times by the time they meet the end of their life.
• Look for decorations that might be put to use for other celebrations: buntings can be rehung at barbecues, candle holders can be incorporated into your home decor or holiday decorations.
• Tulle, burlap or muslin can be used to fill in center pieces, spruce up chairs, decorate tables, and hide unsightly areas.  They also can be reused for craft projects later.

Recyclable

• If you must have non-reusable tableware for your event (no, I'm not judging, I'm just pointing out that it does happen), think about recyclable and/or compostable products.  You can find them at party supply stores, or get customized versions through etsy. Also look for the Forest Stewardship Council stamp for items manufactured without harming old growth forests.
• Wedding stationary is notorious for not being recyclable.  When you're looking, look for items that don't include plastic coatings or foil.  Many stationary suppliers now offer recyclable and eco-friendly papers.

Seasonal

• Seasonal foods and flowers require less travel, and therefore, less fuel.
• Seasonal foods are also less hard on the climate than items that have to be forced to grow in greenhouses or factory farms. These methods also contribute significantly to global warming.
• Seasonal often means more abundant, which also tends to equal savings.  

Also, I put together an etsy treasury for some "green" wedding ideas.  Take a look: http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTAxNTMyNTF8MjcyMjc3NjMyNA/witchy-weddings-green-and-fresh

Winter Weddings Treasury on etsy

• 
  Wedding Shoes Fairy tale w...

  norakaren
  $250.00 USD
• 
  Winter White Velvet Weddin...

  clockworkowl...
  $299.99 USD
• 
  MADE TO ORDER Snow Queen ...

  DagnyKnit
  $94.00 USD
• 
  Winter wedding snowflake s...

  2007musarra
  $29.99 USD
• 
  White Gold and Diamond Sno...

  ashhilton
  $550.00 USD
• 
  Wedding Guestbook Pen - bl...

  SweetWedding...
  $12.00 USD
• 
  Large Monogram Sign, Shabb...

  MyPrimitiveB...
  $45.00 USD
• 
  winter wedding fingerprint...

  dovelyday
  $15.50 USD
• 
  Fir Tree And Floating Flak...

  daydreemdesi...
  $62.85 USD
• 
  Blue garter

  magbod01
  $30.00 USD
• 
  Winter Wedding Tree Cake T...

  byapryl
  $130.00 USD
• 
  Star Blue Wedding Ring Set

  MinterandRic...
  $325.00 USD
• 
  Winter Sparkle Bouquet - F...

  ScatteredSta...
  $150.00 USD
• 
  9 Groomsmen silkscreen nec...

  toybreaker
  $229.50 USD
• 
  70" Cravat, in peacoc...

  FittingAndPr...
  $12.00 USD

Invitations

Did you know that are actually enough rules about wedding stationary etiquette to fill a large book?  Really.  I read it.  Very dull, frequently outdated and pricey.  Here is my short(er) and simple(r) guide for invitations.

Start looking for invitations 3-4 months before you need them.  If ordering from a printer or thermographer, expect them to take around two weeks.  Engraving takes longer.  Printing at home is quicker, but in my experience, it adds unnecessary stress.  A professional can make the invitation process much quicker and easier.

Picking an invitation can be daunting.  there are literally thousands of options to choose from.  The invitation is typically the first glimpse guests have of your event, but you don't have to do anything elaborate or flashy.  A simple white or ivory card with black or grey lettering is the classic for a reason.

• If your invitation requires assembly (like ribbon tying or difficult folding, make sure you will have time to deal with this.  
• Be careful when you pick a font- if it's too difficult to read, some guests may not be able to read it.  If you are absolutely in love with ornate curling fonts (I love Spencerian calligraphy), consider using it only for your names, while printing the rest of the invitation in a more readable font.  
• You don't have to spend a fortune on your invitations.  Most people will throw them away eventually.
• Postage on wedding invitations is nearly always more than a first class stamp will cover.  Take a completed invitation to the post office to have postage calculated before you send them out, or you will end up mailing them twice, which gets expensive.

Wording your invitation is a bit tricky.  Old ettiquette rules are still followed by most couples.  These are the three most common combinations I saw when I was doing wedding stationary orders.

Formal, traditional

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents

request the honour of your presence 

at the marriage of their daughter

Bride's First and Middle Names

and

Groom's Full Name

on Saturday, the eight of Month

Two thousand and eleven

at time o'clock

Location Name

Location address

City, State/Provence

Please note that honour should be spelled with a "u" on wedding invitations.  Honor without is reserved for military and funerary purposes.  You can also substitute handfasting, hand fasting, commitment ceremony or wedding in the place of marriage.  The groom's parents can be included under the groom's name by adding a "son of" line and the following line of their names.  A verse, short poem or quote can be included at the top of the invitation if you like.

Formal- bride and groom inviting

Bride's Name

and 

Groom's Name

request the honor of your presence

at their marriage

on Saturday, the day of the Month

Two thousand and eleven

at time o'clock

Location Name

Location Address

City and State/Provence

Informal, traditional

Bride's Parents

request the pleasure of your company 

at the wedding of their daughter

Bride's Name

and 

Groom's Name

on Saturday, the day of Month,

Two thousand and eleven

Location Name

Location Address

City, State/Provence

Reception cards need not be included if the reception directly follows the ceremony in the same location.  If not, include reception cards.  Pre-addressed and stamped RSVP cards will make your life a little easier when get a guest count, but keep in mind, that you will probably have to call or email a few people who won't respond.  The reception card is a good place to specify attire, no gifts please or no children.  Even better, pass the message along through word of mouth.

Invitations are a necessary and time consuming part of wedding planning.  The options and etiquette are dizzying, I know.  It took years for me to get to the point I could just do this without reference.  If you need help, contact me here, or contact a professional stationer in your area.

  

Avoiding Bridezilla

Weddings are stressful, and anytime we are under unusual stress, the potential for flaring tempers increases exponentially.  Bridezilla, a rather recent term for an old phenomenon, is now part of our slang (I used to call it going bridal when I was in the wedding business).  It describes a bride who loses sight of what's important in planning a wedding and who becomes unbearable and selfish, alienating everyone around her.

Very few people plan to let wedding stress turn them into monsters, but it happens (three days before my wedding, I rather rudely informed a bride getting married a week after me that I couldn't give a shit about her problem, because the tuxedos for my wedding and three others were MIA- while I was at work at a bridal shop).  Here is my advice for keeping things in perspective, both as a bride and as a former wedding professional:

• The goal of planning a wedding is to have a marriage after all is said and done.
• When dealing with wedding professionals, remember, they talk to brides all the time.  To them, your wedding is one of many.  Expect courtesy and professionalism from them, not special treatment (especially if you are asking for more than your contract spells out).
• You want to still be on good terms with your friends and family after the wedding, so don't let little things like picking out bridesmaids dresses or using a different DJ become fights.
• You can't please everybody, but you can take a moment to listen to what people say, even if you don't do what they want you to do.  "I'll keep that in mind" and "Thanks for the advice" are handy phrases.  Noncommittal and polite is the way to go.
• Every wedding I have ever been to or worked on had a disaster of some degree.  You can't control the weather, other people or traffic.  Chances are, your guests will never be aware of the problem unless it's pointed out to them.
• Kids are kids, not miniature adults.  Don't expect anything else.
• Some people will not like your choices.  Develop a duck's back against criticism.
• Your significant other loves you for who you are, and that is what really matters.
• Don't forget to say "please", "thank you" and "I'm sorry".

Going a little crazy while planning a wedding is normal.  Keep the stress reactions to a minimum and everyone will thank you for it.  If you feel overwhelmed, stop and take a breather.  Ignore your planning for a few days, go for walk or put your foot down to prevent yourself from being walked all over.  Smile, be happy, and keep your eyes on the prize.  This will all be over before you know it.

Timing is everything

When it comes to event planning, timing is everything. Start out by deciding what kind of event you want.  Something simple can be put together very quickly, but elaborate weddings take time (or lots of money) to make them work out.

I grew up in the wedding industry; my parents were photographers  (and I late sold gowns, bridesmaids dresses, rented tuxedos and did custom stationary orders) and most weddings were booked at least a year in advance.  Why?  Because things take time.  If you order a wedding gown from a bridal shop (not a big bridal retailer) your dress will take weeks to be delivered (unless you pay a rush charge).  Invitations need about a week of turn around time and should be mailed out at least six weeks in advance.  Bridesmaid's dresses, six weeks.  Some officiants require premarital counselling which can take weeks.  Many vendors are booked a year or more in advance for peak season (which is traditionally late April through early September).

This shouldn't discourage you if you are absolutely certain your wedding needs to happen quickly (there are tons of reasons that couple need a short engagement), but remember that the stress increases exponentially the less time you have to put things together.  Sit down together, with your families and attendants (in necessary) and discuss when would be best.  Are you dead set on a particular date or season?  Are you working around other commitments? Is there a compromise available?  If you choose a date that is more than a year in the future, begin passing the word and/or send out save the date cards.  Once you have made this big decision, it's time to talk budget.  Take everything one step at a time and you'll be fine.

Welcome to Witchy Weddings

Congratulations on you upcoming wedding!

Weddings are personal and public at the same time.  There exists a variety traditions- religious and cultural, that as a bride or groom, you will need to wade through, make decisions about and implement.  We're here to help, with suggestions, advice and sometimes humorous stories of the excitement of weddings and wedding planning.

Stay tuned for lots of info!