Did you know that are actually enough rules about wedding stationary etiquette to fill a large book? Really. I read it. Very dull, frequently outdated and pricey. Here is my short(er) and simple(r) guide for invitations.
Start looking for invitations 3-4 months before you need them. If ordering from a printer or thermographer, expect them to take around two weeks. Engraving takes longer. Printing at home is quicker, but in my experience, it adds unnecessary stress. A professional can make the invitation process much quicker and easier.
Picking an invitation can be daunting. there are literally thousands of options to choose from. The invitation is typically the first glimpse guests have of your event, but you don't have to do anything elaborate or flashy. A simple white or ivory card with black or grey lettering is the classic for a reason.
- If your invitation requires assembly (like ribbon tying or difficult folding, make sure you will have time to deal with this.
- Be careful when you pick a font- if it's too difficult to read, some guests may not be able to read it. If you are absolutely in love with ornate curling fonts (I love Spencerian calligraphy), consider using it only for your names, while printing the rest of the invitation in a more readable font.
- You don't have to spend a fortune on your invitations. Most people will throw them away eventually.
- Postage on wedding invitations is nearly always more than a first class stamp will cover. Take a completed invitation to the post office to have postage calculated before you send them out, or you will end up mailing them twice, which gets expensive.
Wording your invitation is a bit tricky. Old ettiquette rules are still followed by most couples. These are the three most common combinations I saw when I was doing wedding stationary orders.
Formal, traditional
Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First and Middle Names
and
Groom's Full Name
on Saturday, the eight of Month
Two thousand and eleven
at time o'clock
Location Name
Location address
City, State/Provence
Please note that honour should be spelled with a "u" on wedding invitations. Honor without is reserved for military and funerary purposes. You can also substitute handfasting, hand fasting, commitment ceremony or wedding in the place of marriage. The groom's parents can be included under the groom's name by adding a "son of" line and the following line of their names. A verse, short poem or quote can be included at the top of the invitation if you like.
Formal- bride and groom inviting
Bride's Name
and
Groom's Name
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
on Saturday, the day of the Month
Two thousand and eleven
at time o'clock
Location Name
Location Address
City and State/Provence
Informal, traditional
Bride's Parents
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding of their daughter
Bride's Name
and
Groom's Name
on Saturday, the day of Month,
Two thousand and eleven
Location Name
Location Address
City, State/Provence
Reception cards need not be included if the reception directly follows the ceremony in the same location. If not, include reception cards. Pre-addressed and stamped RSVP cards will make your life a little easier when get a guest count, but keep in mind, that you will probably have to call or email a few people who won't respond. The reception card is a good place to specify attire, no gifts please or no children. Even better, pass the message along through word of mouth.
Invitations are a necessary and time consuming part of wedding planning. The options and etiquette are dizzying, I know. It took years for me to get to the point I could just do this without reference. If you need help, contact me here, or contact a professional stationer in your area.
