Friday, January 25, 2013

Tradition- connecting past to present

Weddings are a rite in which we begin to think about tradition.  For some people, who have strong family tradition or ethnic tradition  this is easy to do.  For some of us, it's very hard.  I'm from a family that lacks inter-generational traditions, but the idea appealed to me.

At my wedding, I wore pearls that had been a gift from my great grandmother, who I adored, to my grandmother, who I didn't. My mom had ended up with them, and I wore them as a connection to my great-grandma who had passed away not long before I got married.  They still belong to my mom, but that day, they were a link to the past.  I also wore my mom's best friend's  (who, now, is my aunt by marriage and who can no longer remember me due to Alzheimer's) sapphire ring.  She has loaned that ring to other brides, and it has been a good luck charm. One day, I hope to see her daughter wear that ring at her wedding.  Although the tradition wasn't from my family, it was one from a dear friend who was there with me that day.

When looking for traditions to incorporate in your celebration, don't limit yourself to just your family or to those that are well known.  If nothing speaks to you, start your own tradition, one that is part of your love and your life.  Carry flowers that your significant other likes to buy for you (I had a bride, back when I was selling wedding gowns who carried hot pink tulips because that's what her groom always bought for her), get married on the anniversary of your first date (a friend of mine did this and it was so sweet that nearly everyone cried over that detail), play that song that you both listened to in the car at the reception ( my husband still reaches out to hold my hand when he hears a Cars song come one the radio). If your late grandfather loved growing roses, carry one (or an image of one) with you.  Be creative and get personal.

Traditions are reminders of our pasts, and when we pass them along, we connect past, present and future, which is a beautiful and powerful idea.  Traditions doesn't need to be direct, and they can start with us as individuals.