Avoiding Bridezilla

Weddings are stressful, and anytime we are under unusual stress, the potential for flaring tempers increases exponentially.  Bridezilla, a rather recent term for an old phenomenon, is now part of our slang (I used to call it going bridal when I was in the wedding business).  It describes a bride who loses sight of what's important in planning a wedding and who becomes unbearable and selfish, alienating everyone around her.

Very few people plan to let wedding stress turn them into monsters, but it happens (three days before my wedding, I rather rudely informed a bride getting married a week after me that I couldn't give a shit about her problem, because the tuxedos for my wedding and three others were MIA- while I was at work at a bridal shop).  Here is my advice for keeping things in perspective, both as a bride and as a former wedding professional:

• The goal of planning a wedding is to have a marriage after all is said and done.
• When dealing with wedding professionals, remember, they talk to brides all the time.  To them, your wedding is one of many.  Expect courtesy and professionalism from them, not special treatment (especially if you are asking for more than your contract spells out).
• You want to still be on good terms with your friends and family after the wedding, so don't let little things like picking out bridesmaids dresses or using a different DJ become fights.
• You can't please everybody, but you can take a moment to listen to what people say, even if you don't do what they want you to do.  "I'll keep that in mind" and "Thanks for the advice" are handy phrases.  Noncommittal and polite is the way to go.
• Every wedding I have ever been to or worked on had a disaster of some degree.  You can't control the weather, other people or traffic.  Chances are, your guests will never be aware of the problem unless it's pointed out to them.
• Kids are kids, not miniature adults.  Don't expect anything else.
• Some people will not like your choices.  Develop a duck's back against criticism.
• Your significant other loves you for who you are, and that is what really matters.
• Don't forget to say "please", "thank you" and "I'm sorry".

Going a little crazy while planning a wedding is normal.  Keep the stress reactions to a minimum and everyone will thank you for it.  If you feel overwhelmed, stop and take a breather.  Ignore your planning for a few days, go for walk or put your foot down to prevent yourself from being walked all over.  Smile, be happy, and keep your eyes on the prize.  This will all be over before you know it.